Don't try this at home

What: Not a single bubble
Beer: Blandford Fly
Receptacle: Pint glass
When: 27 August 2008
Situation: At home

Unfortunately the Second Official Beer Reading meeting had to be postponed. Not to be deterred from my research, I thought I'd try and have an interesting beer at home and see whether I got any results.

Sadly, I was stung by the Blandford Fly.

Exciting though this beer promised to be, it had NO FOAM AT ALL and thus was completely useless for the divination purposes for which it was intended. Though it did have a distinctive gingery flavour.

In fairness, the lack of foam may not have been a property so much of the specific ale in question but rather a consequence of it being poured from a bottle and not being on draught.

So in conclusion: Beer reading doesn't work at home.

Bishop and Astronaut

[note: I'm actually posting this on 7 September but have edited the date so it appears in the correct sequence with the other readings from the first meeting]



What: Bishop (facing right and looking to the heavens)
Beer: Some kind of local ale, exact name forgotten
Receptacle: Pint glass with straight sides
When: 4 August 2008
Situation: First official Beer Reading Meeting, Live and Let Live pub, Cambridge.

I'd seen, but not pictured, a bishop in Vienna so it was no surprise to see the familiar mitre emerging once again during the first official beer reading meeting - I think in the second pint, after the first pint produced no clear results. What could be the significance of the repeated appearances of this cleric? Was it a sign that the Almighty disapproves of attempting to divine the majesty of His creation through the medium of beer? Godless heathen that I am, I chose to ignore this and carry on with the reading. I think it's probably suggesting I play chess.


What: Astronaut's helmet

On the next beer, however, there emerged the unmistakeable shape of an astronaut's helmet. This is one of the best possible results of a beer reading. The astronaut's helmet is a reference to the fulfillment of a long-held ambition, dream or desire that one had stopped believing was actually possible - such as the common childhood dream of becoming an astronaut. Well, I still haven't managed to go into outer space, but I did meet V the following weekend dancing to Girl from Mars. I'd actually forgotten about seeing the Astronaut's helmet until Lizzy reminded me at the second meeting.

Dragon, Ancient King, and Greek Horse

What: Dragon (facing left, wing extended)
Beer: Forgotten... to be confirmed
Receptacle: Pint glass with straight sides
When: 4 August 2008
Situation: First official Beer Reading Meeting, Live and Let Live pub, Cambridge.

This is the first time in known history that a meeting has been held with the express purpose of reading beer. Following a couple of practice pints (always necessary to find the most readable beer on the premises), the initial results were impressive. This full image of a dragon in profile appeared within millimetres of the top of my glass at approximately 9pm. The dragon is complete with ear, open jaw, legs, tail, extended wing, and scales along its spine. Whether the dragon is Welsh or of other origin is yet to be determined (being made of beer foam, it was unable to fill in an equal opportunities monitoring form on this occasion).

What: Skull of an Ancient King (facing right, wearing crown)

Approximately 20 minutes after the dragon, in the same pint, the skull of an ancient king appeared, slightly further down the glass and in a clockwise direction about one third of the circumference away from the dragon. We believe it's a skull because of the large eye sockets, and a king because of the regal pointed beard and large square crown atop his head.

What: Running Horse, in the style of a Greek vase (facing right)

At around 10pm, and in my third pint (though which beer it was I'm afraid I've forgotten...), this fabulous image of a Greek horse appeared, covering almost 50% of the circumference of the glass. Could there be wild Greek stallions in my future? Here's hoping... ;-)

Angler fish

What: Angler Fish (and Bishop not pictured)
Beer: Carlsberg
Receptacle: Plastic pint glass
When: 21 June 2008
Situation: Watching Russia against the Netherlands in the Vienna Fanzone.

This is the first beer-reading I actually recorded. Although the picture isn't very clear, on the glass this was clearly an angler fish. I was watching a quarter final match in Euro 2008 in the fanzone in Vienna, where the only beer available was UEFA-sponsoring Carlsberg, in plastic glasses. I was surprised to find this was ideal for beer-reading, with the appearance of a bishop and an angler fish. It was less ideal for unobtrusively taking pictures of beer glasses, so unfortunately the picture is hopeless.

Russia won in extra time.