The Oracle

What: As yet unidentified
Beer: Salopian Oracle
Receptacle: Standard pint glass
Situation: In the Six Templars in Hertford

When I lived in Hertford, I thought it was a rather dull town where nothing much happened. A couple of months after I moved out of Hertford, I went to France and Spain in search of the Holy Grail. A few years after that, it turned out the Holy Grail may in fact have been in Hertford all along.

Having recently opened a new pub in Hertford, Wetherspoons naturally decided to name it the Six Templars (after the four Templar knights who were imprisoned next door in Hertford castle, and, er, two others who weren't). I had taken Victoria to visit Hertford, and was determined to visit this establishment, which I felt would be ideal for beer reading. My brother, Mark, was sufficiently intrigued by the concept of beer reading to come along. Or perhaps he just wanted a drink.

When we entered the Six Templars, I was immediately struck by two things. Firstly, it was indeed decorated with Templar crosses and replica helmets, swords etc. Secondly, they had a guest ale called Oracle.

Surely a reading from the Oracle in the Six Templars pub in the possible home of the Holy Grail was going to give me a vital clue as to the location of this most sought-after of relics?

At first, the Oracle refused to give any real readings; there was a lot of foam but no real shapes, just big lines around the glass. Then, as I progressed through the pint, a clear and unusual shape appeared about halfway down.

Unfortunately, I couldn't tell what the shape actually was. "Maybe it's a kind of insect, with a really long antenna?" I suggested. Victoria disagreed that it could possibly be an animal, and Mark pointed out that even if it was, that didn't really help us find the Holy Grail. It also reminds me of a bicycle brake.

However, upon further consideration, I realised the very obscurity and esotericism of this reading was a positive sign. If it really does indicate the true location of the Holy Grail, I wouldn't expect it just to give a really obvious symbol; it would almost certainly be something mysterious requiring further interpretation.

So now all I have to do is work out the true meaning of this odd shape. Back in Cambridge later that evening, Victoria and I met up with Lizzy, here for the weekend, in the Fort St George. I showed her my reading, and explained its significance. Lizzy thought it might be a duck, but I was not convinced.

While in the Fort St George, I was drinking Ridley's Witchfinder Porter. Again, this beer proved highly suitable for beer reading and I saw the image of a wolf, fox, or possibly even my parents' dog, Max. Sadly by the time I'd managed to picture it, the image had decayed somewhat and it now looks more like a rubber duck in the bath. I'm sure that it was actually a canine of some description though. I wondered whether if it was Max and he had appeared in the Witchfinder beer, this was confirmation of my long-held suspicion that he was a dog with supernatural telepathic abilities; he always seems to know five minutes before somebody arrives at the house and goes to sit by the door.